Relationship Game

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How to have a healthy and satisfying relationship?

This is a small practical guide to overcome the most common difficulties. Everyone thinks differently about relationships. However, there are a number of fundamental landmarks that are present in a healthy romantic relationship. If you recognize the positive aspects in the following, chances are, that the relationship with your partner/lover is healthy. So, how can you recognize and experience a healthy and satisfying relationship? It's simple! First of all, it means that the both of you feel good, because the relationship makes you happy. Of course, there may be annoyances on both sides, but they must not exceed your love, overall joy and well-being.

How healthy is your relationship?

Having a relationship is not the same as being happy of course. To be and stay happy in a relationship, not only requieres cherishing each other, but also sharing each others feelings and communicating with each other in mutual respect. If you love each other, it doesn't automatically mean that there's nothing to be done anymore. You have to keep confirming your love in order to develop and grow together. Being in a relationship also means, that you cannot "fall asleep". At some point you won't be able to see anymore, why you have chosen for the other and which properties you find so attractive. Your mutual partner game requires maintenance! Otherwise, you will lose the connection that once led to a choice for the other. The death blow to any relationship is: taking each other for granted. It is good to refuse access to obviousness in the sacred space we call "relationship".

Feelings of emotional safety

Having a healthy relationship also means feeling safe. This is possible only, if you have faith in the other and in his or her love. Whether your relationship has a merging or independent character, whether you're living together or having a remote relationship, the both of you need to feel safe. This is the most important part of your "partner game". If you feel bad, jealous or guilty, there is a problem. It is up to you to determine, whether it's coming from you or the other person. For example, is there a complicated love past with either of you, or may there have been problems with trust? Is your partner behaving unsafely? Whatever the reasons, it's still best to discuss it with your partner, and try to clarify things first. When it comes to important building blocks within a relationship, think of "CHOU": Communication, Honesty, Openness, Understanding.

Being ready for love

From the first date to the moment of entering into a healthy romantic relationship, there are various stages. Think especially of the emotional stages and not the duration, because there is no fixed standard to determine. Some will want to get married after a year, while others will need ten years to take that step. All that is needed, is to take the step as soon as you are ready.

Feeling free in your relationship

Feeling free in a relationship is about who you really are, without being selfish or disrespectful of course. You have the power and the opportunity to stay yourself. If you have a bad relationship right now, you may feel compelled to change yourself and think you have to earn the love you long for. While it's normal to compromise in a healthy manner, it's a completely different matter if you think, that you have to adjust yourself to be loved more. "I'd love you more if you..." is nothing less than emotional blackmail. Making agreements is often a forgotten opportunity to put a relationship on a better course. By making appointments (eating together at a certain time, meeting each other during lunchtime or having a romantic evening together), you'll open the door to connecting two segregated areas of life (outdoors/work versus home and intimacy).

The discovery

Discovery is the beginning of the relationship. It is the moment of seduction that often consists of showing the positive sides and enjoying a euphoric feeling. In general, it is also a phase where the relationship is emotionally unstable. Love and trust are born little by little. In this period, you can also define what you expect from the relationship. Is it a serious commitment, intended for the long term? Is it rather a passionate relationship with strong emotions, but not necessarily leading to a long lasting togetherness? In the beginning, it's just a matter of agreeing with yourself and your expectations.

The evolution of the relationship

After the phase of discovery, the love relationship begins to strengthen itself emotionally. These are the first lessons of the course called "relationship" or "the first exit" on the road of your partner game. This is the moment when you determine the nature of the bond that unites you; will it be for the long term, will it be a short-term relationship, is it "just for fun"? This observation can be expressed in a number of ways. Some will put it into words (with an "I love you", or with all kinds of love messages per app, for example), others will put it into practice by expressing larger projects such as a baby, a marriage or the purchase of a house. Others are more likely to leave these questions open, live more day by day and allow themselves to be carried by daily life.

Difficulties arising from the nature of the relationship

In the beginning, the greatest difficulty may come from determining the nature of the relationship. It's also about timing. If the nature of the relationship is looked at very differently by the both of you , it is possible that there's no homy feel. If you feel that you are in a serious relationship and are prepared to take on something bigger - such as a marriage, the birth of a child or the purchase of a house - while your partner experiences your relationship more non-committal, there may be a gap between your wishes and ambitions. In that case, it is necessary to take stock individually. Be careful not to ignore your own wishes in order to please or not hurt the other person. Making a commitment does not mean that you have the same opinions and preferences about everything. Make clear agreements about what is important to each of you. Because trust is the foundation of a relationship, there must be sufficient agreement about how the relationship will be shaped and continued.

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